


You're The Only One Who Knows It.

by PanicintheTARDIS



Category: Bandom, Fueled by Ramen, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alley Sex, Bandom - Freeform, Beebo's a sweetie, Fuckbuddies, Grinding, Light BDSM, Lots of it, M/M, Shameless Smut, Teaching, Tyler has a freak out, Watersports, idk - Freeform, useless tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:28:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanicintheTARDIS/pseuds/PanicintheTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't serious or anything, what they were doing. It didn't mean anything, it was just two friends helping each other out on tour. They didn't mean for it to get like this.</p>
<p>-<br/>-<br/>Okay, yes, this is an unusual pairing, but hey, don't knock it 'til you try it, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't know why I think I could lie....

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks always to @Iamamachine who practically made me write this, omg, here, it's up.

It wasn't serious or anything, what they were doing. It didn't mean anything, it was just two friends helping each other out on tour. They didn't mean for it to get like this.

 

It had started one day after Panic! came off stage and Brendon had suggested that they go for a drink, just the two of them, to celebrate a dumb achievement that Brendon had just made up as an excuse to go get drunk. They had gone to a local bar that neither of them had heard of and hid in a corner where they couldn't be disturbed. Surrounded by the warmth of the lights and the alcohol, it had been the first time since the beginning of the tour, when they'd practically just met, that they'd both properly talked.

The initial topics where harmless; like what Fall Out Boy album they liked best and why, or which dead musician would they most like to play a show with. Then, as the alcohol flowed more freely, the inhibitions started to go with it:

“So,” Brendon said, blinking drunkenly, “I’mma come out and bring up what everyone here is thinking,” he gestured around as if there were more people there than just the two of them, “what's the deal with you and Josh?”

“The… deal? Me and Josh? Wha…?”

"Yeah, y'know... 'The deal,'" the way he said the two words implied quotation marks, using them as an explanation when in reality they didn't explain a thing.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Tyler replied, still holding on to his inhibitions slightly more that Brendon, thanks to the lack of brightly-coloured shots with salted rims.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Brendon insisted right back, pointing at him with the hand he had wrapped around the beer bottle that he was bringing to his mouth, "you have huge crushes on each other, but are both too fucking scared to do anything about it."

"That's not true," Tyler retorted, but his argument was getting weaker, as he realised quickly that he couldn't really argue with a drunk Brendon who knew he was right.

"It is," Brendon smiled, knowing he'd won. "But if you do both have crushes on each other ...Which you totally do..." -he added the last part when Tyler opened his mouth to argue again- "why don't you do anything about it? Like... Why?" Brendon shrugged his shoulders slightly more forcefully than he intended to, sending a small tidal wave of liquor from his shot glass onto his knee. It didn't matter much though, considering he was still wearing his leather pants, so the liquid, for the most part, just beaded up and slid right off.

"Umm..." It was all beginning to make Tyler feel very uncomfortable. "Y'know what, Brendon, I've had a good time and all tonight, but I think I should probably be getting back, okay?" Tyler got up, pulling out his wallet and placing -hopefully- the right amount of money for his last drink on the bar.

As he walked away, he heard Brendon call out to him, but he ignored it and kept walking until he was out in the cool air of who-knows-where. He set of towards the hotel pretty quickly, hoping that Brendon had stayed behind, but no such luck, as a few minutes later:

"Tyler! Wait up, dude!" He turned round to see Brendon following not far behind him. Tyler sped up a bit. "Tyler, I'm sorry, I crossed a line!" Brendon sped up too, catching Tyler's sleeve slightly too roughly and tugging him to a stop.

"Brendon, it's alright," he started.

"No, it's not, Tyler, I'm sorry, I came off too strong. I didn't mean it like that." Brendon somehow was considerably more sober than before. "It was my stupid way of letting you know that you can talk to me. I'm here for you, bro. It sounds cheesy, but I know what you're going through -I've been there too!" Brendon took two steps forward and Tyler took two steps back, pressing himself into the nearby wall.

"You have no idea what I'm going through, Brendon, can we just forget this ever happened?" Tyler looked away, embarrassed, from Brendon's face, which had got very close very quickly, and tried in vain to pull his sleeve from the other man's grasp.

"Well, actually, I have a hunch, and if that hunch is correct..." He paused for a moment, drawing his face close enough to Tyler's that he could smell the lingering liquor on his breath, "you'll be just fine, Tyler, I promise..." Brendon winked, and with that, he leaned in, pressing their mouths together heatedly. He tasted like alcohol with an underlying current of cigarette smoke and his lips were just as soft and warm as they looked -not that Tyler had really thought it over too well, considering Brendon was apparently mostly straight... and definitely married. Brendon kept going, coaxing Tyler's lips open with his tongue, until Tyler came to his senses and pulled forcefully away.

"No no nonono, Brendon, this can't work!" Tyler turned away and his sleeve was released. "You're straight and married and I'm weird and... and fucked up and, no, this can't work." He took a few steps until he was out of reach, still arguing his point but undoubtedly making no sense, then he turned abruptly to start making his way back in the direction of the bus.

"Tyler," Brendon's voice was quiet and low, "stop." There was something in his voice that made Tyler obey.

"Turn around..." Something inside Tyler clicked, almost not believing what was happening, so he did. The corner of Brendon's mouth twitched upwards and he took a step forward in his direction.

"I knew it."

Tyler frowned, "you... You knew what?"

"My hunch, Tyler." Brendon closed the distance between them in two big strides, "do you trust me?"

He didn't know what to say.

"Tyler." Brendon commanded his attention. "I asked: do you trust me?" He said the words slowly, with a slight pause between each of them, to make sure he was understood.

"Y- yes?" He stuttered, drawing his eyes upwards for the first time, meeting Brendon's.

"Are you sure?" Tyler nodded, not trusting his voice.

"Then stop over-thinking." And he kissed him again, more roughly this time, making the alleyway they were standing in seem several degrees hotter.

Tyler managed to stutter out the other man's name, only to be shushed and then silenced with another kiss. Brendon bit down hard on Tyler's lip and his knees almost buckled as he moaned, feeling the pain strike just the way he liked it. Brendon put his arms under Tyler's to catch him, simultaneously pinning him to the wall and bringing their crotches together.

Tyler could feel that, despite the incredibly constricting pants, Brendon was hard. Embarrassingly enough, Tyler's pretty sure he was harder.

In one swift movement, with their lips still locked, Brendon caught Tyler's wrists and brought them up over his head against the wall. The action caught Tyler by surprise and he broke the kiss, looking down with a question in his eyes. It was quite an awkward position for him, considering his legs were bent, so that Brendon, the shorter one, could get his arms like that, but he went with it anyway.

Brendon smirked and leaned in, bringing his lips to Tyler's right ear, "like this?"

" _Please_."

Tyler was caught off-guard by the unbridled desire that overflowed from his one word answer. Brendon squeezed his wrists and his breath caught in his throat, he was sure he heard Brendon whisper "I knew it," again, but he was distracted and therefore couldn't be sure. They kept on kissing like that for an indeterminate amount of time, occasionally grinding into each other, until they were both breathless and sweating. It was only when Brendon pulled away to breathe that he managed to trap both of Tyler's wrists with only one hand, freeing the other to finally make his was to Tyler's crotch.

"Brendon," Tyler panted, "wait."

"What's wrong?" He had undone Tyler's buttons with one hand and was tracing one finger along his length through his underwear, stopping to pay more attention the small wet patch at the head.

Tyler could feel his face flush sheepishly as he responded, whispering: "I-Um... I have to pee." He had started to acknowledge the feeling a while back, but he'd just carried on, not even imagining that Brendon could be this thorough and teasing, just cursing his greed and willingness to drink. Brendon couldn't contain his grin when he heard the words and he didn't by any means stop moving his finger.

He kept going until he heard Tyler pipe up again: "um... seriously, Brendon, let me go, I'll just be a sec..." He was trying to free himself, but Brendon was too strong.

"Don't you dare, Tyler Joseph." His voice was stern and commanding, but Tyler could see the twinkle in his eye that meant he wasn't nearly as serious as he sounded. "You stay right here and hold it." He murmured, as his finger made Tyler whimper. Tyler complied and unwillingly threw his head back in pleasure, only to hit it against the bricks behind him.

They stayed like that for a while, then Brendon wormed his free hand around his back and slipped it into his underwear from that side. Tyler's not really sure how he bent that way, but what he did after felt so good he didn't have much time to dwell on it. At first Brendon just ran his finger around Tyler's hole, excruciatingly slowly, brushing over the rough hairs in a circular motion; then he moved into the tender area, stroking lightly, almost tickling him, until Tyler's hips automatically bucked forwards, his cock seeking some sort of friction, pushing against the inside of his boxers.

Brendon pulled his hand out and used it to pull Tyler's jeans down to his knees, leaving his boxers on and setting his erection free to tent them out. Then he made Tyler squirm pinching his way up the inside of both of his thighs, leaving little double crescent-moon shapes in pinking circles every few centimetres from his knees to the hem of the boxer.

When Brendon's hand got there, he slipped it into the loose leg hole and grasped Tyler's dick for the first time. He started jerking him off slowly and awkwardly, stopping anytime the muscles in Tyler's legs tensed up.

"Don't you dare come," he'd whisper, his voice hoarse. Tyler could only moan in response, feeling every wrist movement trigger something that pressed against his full bladder in a bittersweet symphony of sensations that he didn't have the time nor the patience to try and organise.

That went on for a while, until Tyler could hardly take anymore, his face was red and hot from the strain of trying to not come or wet himself, that one more jerk of Brendon's fist was all he could take, and he hung his head, pressing it to the shorter man's shoulder.

"Please, Brendon," he pleaded, his voice hitched on the very first syllable, "I- I can't hold on."

"Then let go." Brendon suggested, as he brought his hand out in the open, them up to once again squeeze Tyler's wrists. But there was still a wall up in Tyler's brain preventing him from doing so, he couldn't just do it... Could he?

"I said: Let. Go." Brendon's voice was intense and absolute.

So Tyler did.

Slowly at first, letting the first trickle make the already wet patch on his underwear even bigger, then when the last wall broke down, he abandoned everything completely. The liquid streamed down his legs, into his jeans and to the floor below, as Brendon just watched, mouth slightly ajar -Tyler might have even said in awe, if he wasn't still enjoying the sweet fruits of his release-. He could hear someone breathing, -panting, really- drawing in and then exhaling rapid, rasping breaths; it took him a few seconds to realise that they came from his own chest.

When it was all over, Brendon broke from his trance and devoured Tyler's lips with a kiss, letting go of his wrists and grabbing his neck with both hands, pulling them together, moving his own lips ravenously and nipping at Tyler's mouth with his teeth.

"That was incredible," he breathed, reverently. Then, in the same breath: "turn around."

"Wait, what, here?" Tyler squeaked louder than he thought he'd be capable at that precise point in time.

"Yes. Here. Turn. Now."

It didn't take Tyler long to do as he was told. Brendon yanked his soaked underwear out of the way, a lot less awkward now he had two hands free, and got to work, taking a moment to grab handfuls of Tyler's ass appreciatively, pinching and digging his fingernails in. He took his hands away for a second and Tyler heard a tell-tale clicking sound, before Brendon's fingers started probing his hole again, considerably more slippery this time.

"Do I even want to know where you got that from?" Tyler mumbled, his forehead undoubtably dented by the rough brick surface it was pressed against, his breath hitching as Brendon glided over a particularly sensitive spot. He didn't remember seeing any pockets in Brendon's leather pants, so who knows where he stashed that stuff...

Brendon slapped Tyler's ass, hard enough to sting, as a response, so quickly it seemed like instinct, "shush," he reprimanded and Tyler groaned, already feeling his orgasm start bubbling somewhere inside him.

Brendon's fingers made quick work of the stretching, his impatience cracking through his dominant facade, stopping only to remark on how tight he was. Tyler didn't stop to tell him that this was only the second time he'd ever done this. Despite Brendon's quick pace, he noted in admiration, it didn't seem to have any toll on his diligence or make him at all hasty. He was in good hands, even if he didn't really know where they were going.

"Go. Please!" Tyler pleaded, when he felt Brendon's cock push in and stop, waiting silently for consent to go on.

After that Brendon pretty much lost control, ramming in and making him wince and groan in a way that confused him but also made him glad it existed just because it felt so good. It was obvious that neither of them was going to last long, so Brendon slowed himself down and wrapped his hand round Tyler's cock and jerked him off roughly, timing his thrusts accordingly.

Tyler heard whispering in his ear, but couldn't make out any words, he just heard his own moans, so loud they surprised him as they echoed down the alley way and made him wonder if any unsuspecting passer-by might hear them and come looking. Before he could pursue that train of thought any further though, Brendon started angling his thrusts differently and was hitting Tyler' sweet spot, throwing him over the edge of the cliff, into the dark abyss of pleasure.

He came unceremoniously against the wall, giving Brendon the all-clear to give it all he had left. Which he did, pounding into Tyler's behind for a few seconds before stuttering to a halt. He felt the warmth spreading inside him and realised for the first time that Brendon hadn't used a condom. He decided to dwell on the thought later though, as at that moment it felt glorious.

Tyler had never thought a feeling like that could exist, he felt so stupendously owned, his skin tingled and he felt a strange tug in his chest.

Brendon pulled out and leaned against the wall, his chest heaving almost as much as Tyler's. It took them a while to both catch their breath and figure out what to say next, and eventually Brendon turned round and looked directly into Tyler's eyes.

Tyler felt uncomfortable under his intense gaze, even after all they'd just been through, so he cleared his throat to break the silence and suddenly remembered that his jeans and boxers were still round his knees... and soaking wet... So he pulled them up, hastily, not knowing what else he could do.

"We should- uh," he paused and thought that maybe expecting his voice to work as usual was probably a bit too much at that point in time, "we should be getting back."

He wished he could think of something to say that didn't sound so dismissive of the previous, incredible events, but he couldn't.

"Um," Tyler noted with a twinge of glee that Brendon's voice appeared to be failing him too, "yeah, of course, though I wouldn't mind another drink before bed," he paused, looking down at the both of them, "I'd ask you to join me again, but..." he trailed off, gesturing at the huge, sopping patches on Tyler's jeans.

"Yeah, okay, I'll just, uh- I'll just go then.' Tyler pointed in the direction he'd be going, deliberated for a moment, then turned and started walking, as quickly as he could without drawing attention to himself. The last thing he needed was someone seeing him in this state!

 

As he walked into the parking lot where the buses were set up for the night, his heart seemed to be beating twice as fast as usual. It was a relief when he saw that the lights were all off and everyone seemed to already be in.

It was only then that Tyler thought of the time, how long had his encounter with Brendon took? He checked his phone: it was 3:27am. Fuck, he thought, he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight after all.

He crept silently up to the bus door and opened it, wincing at how loud the sound was, echoing in the night air. It was all going well, in the dark because he didn't want to risk putting any lights on, as he took off his shoes, which were also damp, and padded along to his bunk to get his pyjamas (yes, he wears pyjamas when he's sleeping alone, and he's very proud of them... The bottoms have musical notes on them...).

"Tyler?" A muffled, sleepy voice came from the bunk above his, and a hand poked itself out of the curtain, searching the space between the bunks blindly.

Tyler froze.

"Shh, Josh, yes, it's me, go back to sleep." Tyler stuttered out, inching over to take Josh's hand in his, squeezing it gently, reassuringly, before letting go and dashing to the tiny, little bus-bathroom.

Thank god Josh didn't open his curtain because it was quite apparent what Tyler had been up to.

To start with, the most obvious thing, was the raging case of sex-hair he had, which was a difficult thing to have when your hair's as short as Tyler's, but somehow he'd managed.

More things revealed themselves when he pulled his shirt off though: the stark, white light of the no-windowed bathroom made all his skin look pasty and thin enough to see his veins snaking underneath, it accentuated several purple bruises on his neck that he didn't remember Brendon having put there and the scrape above his left nipple from where he'd be pressed against the brick wall while Brendon been fucking him, which was small, it had barely broke the skin and had released just enough blood to be visible.

He pulled down his underwear and jeans, which were both still uncomfortably damp, but made his dick twitch just thinking about how they'd got that way.

Thinking about it more, the whole scenario confused the hell out of him, but he was too tired to feel much guilt or regret, at that point, so he just concentrated on decisively not looking at his boxers on the floor, which had a white stain on the inside where Brendon's come had leaked out of him on the walk back.

He put his pyjamas on, then turned to look at himself again, he drew his face closer to the mirror, examining his eyes which were still a little red and puffy from where they'd watered and all the little, fine, tired lines that surrounded them and the dark bags underneath. Then he looked at his swollen lips, which still stung, and scratched at beginnings of stubble on his chin.

He stared into his own eyes, getting lost as if they belonged to a stranger and letting his mind wander, pulling himself back when he started to feel Brendon's hands encasing his wrists once again, and pulled back with a sigh.

"Time for bed." He announced quietly to no-one, in a voice that didn't sound like his own, as he turned off the light and opened the door.

He rapidly discarded his dirty clothes underneath his pile of other dirty clothes, hoping nobody would sniff out the undeniable odor of sex he was sure now clung to the very essence of them.

Lastly, he climbed into his bunk, careful not to jostle about too much, for fear of waking Josh again. It was a good job his bunk was on the bottom row, as he didn't fancy climbing into one of the top ones in that darkness. Despite the fact that his mind was racing, replaying the unlikely and unpredictable events of the day, as soon as he was horizontal, all the tiredness caught up to him and he fell asleep straight away.

God only knew what he'd have to face the day after...


	2. It's our hearts that make the beat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh didn't know what was going on, but something definitely was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short lil chapter from Josh's POV, idk...

“Ty,” Josh shook his shoulder, “Tyler, wake up, dude.”

“Uhh?” Tyler rolled over, still caught in his bed sheets, to the sound of Josh’s voice and promptly fell out of his bunk and onto Josh’s unsuspecting lap.

“Um…” Josh, who had been sitting on the floor when it happened, was quite stunned, considering he had only been up for 5 minutes and hadn’t yet had any caffeine. Tyler, on the other hand, had only been awake for approximately 6 seconds, therefore his brain quietly accepted the turn of events, he rolled over a bit more so he was comfortable and closed his eyes, before once again beginning to snore.

Josh didn’t really know what to do with himself, having found a snuggly, sleepy Tyler half in his lap, but, as enjoyable as the situation was, he was really starting to want some tea.

“Tyler?” He was slightly less confident than the first time, considering the obvious consequences, not knowing where to put his hands without making the situation even more awkward.

“Tyler?” He tried again, with more success. Josh witnessed as Tyler slowly opened his eyes, blinked drowsily a few times, before widening them, his face flushing pink as he realised just where it was.

“Tyler, do you think you could remove your nose from my crotch now?” His voice was a lot squeakier than he’d have liked.

Tyler bolted upwards so fast, Josh could see that he went a little dizzy for a second, both of their faces were red, Josh’s because of the close proximity Tyler’s had just had with his graceless morning wood.

“Uh,” Tyler started, coughing a little to try and clear the hoarseness from his voice, “you, um-,” he paused, blinking slowly, before finally deciding what he wanted to say: “are you making tea?”

Josh couldn’t help but smile, giggle a bit, then start to laugh. He laughed, only a tad hysterically, and Tyler, after standing there awkwardly with the bed sheet still wrapped around his legs, joined in, albeit hesitantly.

“Come on,” he said, getting to his feet, “I was just going to.”

Josh led the way into the bus kitchenette, filled the kettle up and turned it on, before rooting around in the cupboards in search of clean mugs. The crew, who were nowhere to be seen, had used most of them already and hadn't been bothered to wash any of them up. His mind was still on what had happened moments before, so he almost dropped Tyler's favourite mug into the sink, on top of the pile of dirty ones. He turned around to see if his best friend had noticed, but he was just sitting there, in the lounge area, in his cute pyjamas, staring into space with his mouth slightly ajar.

The corner of Josh's mouth tugged itself upwards, and he found himself grinning like an idiot at how adorable Tyler was in the morning. Then he mentally scolded himself, thinking like that would just make it worse, he knew. The stupid crush wasn't going to go away, unless he moved on and stopped thinking about stupid things like Tyler absently scratching the sliver of skin visible between his shirt and pants.

Josh mentally scolded himself again, as he finished making the tea.

"Here you go, man, just how you like it." He said turning round to Tyler, who's face was still blank.

"Tyler?" He questioned, as Tyler's eyes didn't even focus. Josh waved a hand in front of his face, "hello? Anyone in there?" He singsonged, and Tyler jumped, coming back to reality.

"Tea's ready," Josh said uncertainly, "are you... okay, man?"

Tyler looked at him slowly, then a rising flush came up from his neck and spread across his cheeks, all the way to the tops of his ears. _Huh,_ Josh thought, involuntarily quirking an eyebrow. Tyler was even more out of it than usual. Though thinking back to the night before, when he'd sat and watched movies by himself because Tyler had gone out, it was probably just tiredness.

"How late were you out last night?" He asked, trying to gloss over the awkwardness. It seemed to only make it worse though, as Tyler's blush, that was just fading, flared up again in response to the question.

"Uh," Tyler looked away, then shook his head slightly, as if to clear his head, "pretty late." He shrugged and took a big gulp of tea, then winced as it was still too hot.

Josh was starting to get suspicious, "you look tired," he said after a while, noting the dark bags that were prominent under Tyler's eyes.

"I'm fine," Tyler responded, too quickly, making it sound rehearsed, Josh knew him too well to fall for it.

"I'm sorry I woke you, if I'd have known you came it late, I'd have let you sleep." Josh told the truth, but not all of it. There was no way he'd tell Tyler that he'd only woken him up because he'd felt lonely up on his own. "There's still time for you to get a few more hours before soundcheck..."

"I said I'd be fine, Josh," Tyler muttered, not meeting his eyes while he downed the rest of his drink, which he'd been cradling under his chin since it'd been cool enough.

"Where are you going?" Josh asked when Tyler got up.

"Shower." Tyler replied, bluntly, placing his empty mug on the side with more force than was necessary.

Josh didn't know what was going on, but something definitely was.


	3. I am not as fine as I seem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey there, familiar face!" Tyler winced and then sighed as he heard Brendon's voice pop up from behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I've been having a tough time this year and my motivation has been really shitty... Idek what this is, but I hope you enjoy it...

"Hey there, familiar face!" Tyler winced and then sighed as he heard Brendon's voice pop up from behind him.

He'd been walking across the car park over to the diner on the other side of the road, hoping he wouldn’t get caught by anyone. If there was one thing Tyler didn’t want right then, it was to be disturbed… All he wanted was some lunch before soundcheck! He really didn’t freaking want a philosophical chat about sadomasochism with the one guy he could hardly bear to look in the face. Especially not considering how hungover he was.

He stopped and turned around to see Brendon grinning up at him and wondered how the dude could be so chipper **all the fucking time**. Especially since he ran on like 2 hours of sleep, 17 cans of red bull and 12 cups of coffee in any 24 hour period. And if Tyler was hungover, he can only imagine how hungover Brendon must be...

“What is it, Brendon?" Tyler involuntarily grimaced. It's not the he'd been avoiding him, he just needed a little time to get his head round the circumstances before the inevitably necessary awkward encounter.

"Is there something wrong, buddy?" Brendon frowned and wrapped a hand around Tyler's bicep, squeezing gently and looking genuinely concerned. This surprised Tyler slightly and it took him a moment to find any words.

"It's nothing, Brendon, I just... I-" he didn't know how to convey what he was feeling into comprehensive phrases. "Um, I don't know what to… to think about this," he gestured between the two of them and Brendon took a small step backwards, removing his hand. He looked crestfallen for a second, then composed himself again, even smiling a little.

"It can be anything you want it to be, Tyler.” Tyler opened his mouth to protest at that explanation, but Brendon held his finger up to stop him. “Let me finish, okay? It can be anything you want it to be. I mean it, I know you must be feeling pretty confused right now about how, why and maybe even what happened last night, but I can assure you that everything is fine.” He stopped, then added: “though I am quite hungover, I don’t know about you.”

“I… wait, but do you even remember what happened? You, uh, you had quite a lot to drink…”

Brendon smirked: "Tyler, do you really think it's be that easy for me to forget something like that?" He paused and grew serious again, "though I could've sworn you looked almost relieved at the possibility of me not remembering... You don't regret it, do you?"

Tyler resented having this intense a conversation in the middle of a car park, so, before they could get any further in, he gave in: "Look, Brendon, can please we take this somewhere else? I was just going over to that diner for some food, would you uh-“ Tyler rubbed at his temples, attempting to alleviate his headache, “-would you like to join me?"

"Okay," he replied, nodding earnestly, "as long as we can talk, I know how much you must need to right now." Brendon's courteousness kept surprising him and he didn't even know why. He reminded himself once again that he really didn't have any reason to be worried, this was Brendon Urie after all.

 

As Tyler pushed open the door to the diner, he was met with the buzz of lunchtime chatter, the place was packed.

“Can I help you?” A waitress asked.

“Table for two?” Brendon inquired, popping up from behind Tyler’s shoulder, “somewhere quieter would be nice, thanks.”

“Let me go and see what I can find, I’ll just be a second,” and she disappeared between the tables. Tyler turned and tried not to look down at Brendon, so his eyes flitted to the nearest window. He gazed out at the busy street, eyes flitting from person to person without really taking anything in.

"This way, please," the waitress reappeared from behind them.

"After you," Brendon gestured to Tyler, then followed behind him to their table, a four-person booth right at the back of the diner, dark wood with red, shiny, upholstery fitting in nicely with the rest of the decoration. They sat down and the waitress handed them both menus.

After all this, Tyler wasn’t really feeling all that hungry, his head was pounding and he just had a heavy knotted feeling somewhere in his chest cavity that was making it kind of hard to breathe. While his face was most covered by the menu, that he’d glanced at and figured that pancakes were a good choice anywhere and that there was no point in giving it more thought than that, he cleared his throat and started: “So-“

“Not yet,” Brendon cut him off bluntly, “order first, then we’ll talk.” Tyler frowned and thought it’d probably be best if he didn’t snort at Brendon’s choice of words sounding like one of his old song titles. While he was waiting, Tyler examined his surroundings, sub-consciously planning and escape route through the mostly empty tables, and checking out the way to the bathroom, just in case it all got too much, he got emotional when he was hungover after all. His gaze landed on a woman sitting at a table on the other side of the room, she was reading a book with one hand and eating a stack of pancakes with the other, cutting them into pieces with the side of her fork, piercing them with the tines and then conveying them to her mouth, leaning in slightly so as to lower the chances of dripping strawberry syrup on her skirt. His eyes rested there for a second, taking in the way the silky-looking fabric rested on her thighs in folds that fell down onto the seat below, imagining what the fabric would feel like against his thighs and what it would feel like to run his hands across it.

“So what can I get you then?” The waitress appeared, blocking his view of the woman and bringing him back to looking sheepishly at Brendon, who was looking back at him expectantly. It took Tyler a moment too long to order, as his mind was on other things, so Brendon went ahead and ordered for him.

“How did you know what I wanted?” He asked, once the waitress had disappeared back into the kitchen.

“You’re predictable,” Brendon replied, “and I’m good at reading people. You look like you needed pancakes, even if it is like 3pm…”

“Uh.. Yeah," Tyler said as he thought back to the night before. "So, Tyler," Brendon paused, looking him in the eyes, “talk to me. I need to know what you’re thinking.”

Tyler looked away and licked his lips, "uh, well... Last night was great and all, but I don't think we should do it again." He looked up at Brendon and wished he had something to drink as his mouth was dry as heck and his head didn’t feel like it was going to let up any time soon. Brendon was just looking at him expectantly, his gaze open and non-judgemental. "It's just that... Well, you're married and I don't think it's right?" It came out as a question even if he was trying his best to sound confident. There was just something so sobering about Brendon, something about his eyes that made Tyler want to unzip his skin and let him take a look inside.

"If that's all you're worried about, then I should probably tell you that Sarah's cool with it, man. I know it sounds really shady, but, believe it or not, she actually gets off on it. I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve told her about you already and she said she’d like to get to know you a little better…” Brendon's smile was serene and reassuring as he pulled out his phone and with the other hand gestured to Tyler's which was on the table next to him. Tyler handed it over and waited while Brendon saved Sarah's number to his phone for him. Brendon had just finished and handed Tyler's phone back to him when the waitress arrived with their drinks and their plates.

In between bites of burger, Brendon took a swig of his drink and said: “So, what else do we talk about?”

“I… Um, I have no idea.” Tyler frowned and then smiled, thinking about how simple it had all been the night before, prior to the mind-blowing kinky alley sex… A.K.A. something Tyler had only dreamed of and didn’t ever think could become a reality.

“Do we really have to make this awkward? I mean, I just want you to know that if there’s any aspect of this that you’re not down with, then you have to tell me straight away. It’s effectively a ‘friends-with-benefits’ situation, though I’ve never been fond of the ‘no strings attached’ thing because that implies that I don’t really care about you. Which I do.” Brendon smiled and looked up at him through his lashes, playfully. “Though if you’re cool with this we need to set a few things straight, first of all: you need a safe word. I've been around this block a few times, as a switch, and I can tell you're new to this. I can be your teacher, if that's what you want of me. I know how stupid and cliché it sounds, but let me help, please."

Once again Tyler found himself in the position where he didn't know what to respond. He'd only recently uncovered his penchant for the non-vanilla and, if he was honest with himself, it freaked him out. What Brendon was offering was pretty much perfect, and while learning what he was into with a guy who knew what he was doing, he was also getting some hot action with a really hot dude who he may or may not have had a crush on back in '06. As Tyler finished off the last morsel of pancake, he was overcome with a wave of fondness for Brendon and in his hungover state, it embarrassingly enough made his eyes well up with tears.

"Uh- I'll be right back." He darted across the diner floor and into the restroom, which thankfully was empty. Tyler wiped his eyes and locked the cubicle door behind him, pulling his phone out in an attempt to calm down. He sat down on the closed toilet seat. All morning he'd been thinking about how last night had been literally the hottest night of his life, not that there was much to contend with, but it was all conflicted by Josh, with whom he'd been in love for the best part of two years. While Brendon said Josh liked him back, there was always the excuse that they shouldn't try just in case it doesn't work out and they fuck up the band. Tyler couldn't lose the band, and neither could Josh. Tyler knew that. Brendon was offering to teach him and help him understand how to control his urges to do all kinds of weird stuff while jacking off, and how not to kill himself attempting them. (Which after Tyler's almost disastrous attempt at autoerotic-asphyxiation last year is definitely a good thing.) But what if Josh found out? What would he think about it?

Tyler resolved to go on twitter and see what was going on. He’d been retweeting Josh’s tweets for a few minutes when he heard the restroom door open.

“Ty?” Brendon’s voice was soft. Tyler got up and opened the door, peeking through to see Brendon looking up at him.

“I may or may not be freaking out right now,” he sniffed, and Brendon made a face.

“There’s no need for you to. I promise. You still trust me, right?” And Tyler was thankful about how understanding and patient Brendon was right then, he knew he was probably overreacting, but those pancakes were starting to make him feel a tad nauseated.

“Yeah,” Tyler paused, “and I do want this.”

Brendon’s eyes lit up, he looked relieved when he said: “great!” And pushed his way into the cubicle.

Before Tyler knew it, their lips were touching, the kiss was softer than anything they’d shared the night before. It was tentative, as if they were starting over. Tyler had his fingers in Brendon’s hair and a little whimper escaped him, this was what he needed right then.

It was all going well, until Brendon pulled away, smirking, “Come on, I should go pay. We’re gunna be late for soundcheck.”

He opened the cubicle door and the restroom was thankfully still empty, Tyler took a look at himself in the mirror and fixed his hair before following Brendon back into the diner. Maybe the ache in Tyler's chest would finally let up. 


End file.
